The PJO Gang Harras Telemarketers
by Magical Flying Pie
Summary: Basically Annabeth, Percy, and Grover harras telemarketers! They also run around going on random adventures as they annoy each other. It's funny story told in Percy's perspective so it also has a lot his random commentary. I hope you like it! *Smiley*
1. Yet To Find A Name For This Chapter

**The Better Chapters Start at Chapter 3**

**The Better Chapters Start at Chapter 3**

**The Better Chapters Start at Chapter 3**

**The Better Chapters Start at Chapter 3**

**The Better Chapters Start at Chapter 3**

**The Better Chapters Start at Chapter 3**

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**Chapter 1**

Percy's Point of View

"My hair's on fire!" Grover screamed while he flailed his arms around and started panicking, seriously, I mean it's just fire!

"Dude chill!"

"...are you serious?!"

"Hang on I've got the fire extinguisher!" why won't the stupid tabby thing come off?! Finally! Got it off! Then I pressed the button and the whole thing exploded!

Ha ha! Grover looks like frosty the snow man!

"That is the _last_ time I am helping you bake cookies!" Grover shouted in my face. Ew! He got his Grover spittle in my eye!

"It's not my fault the kitchen burst into flames!"

"You sprayed gasoline everywhere!"

"Well excuse me for trying to make them cook faster!" I yelled at the, evil one! as Annabeth came into the kitchen. She looked around and had a kind of like 'okay...' look on her face but decided to just move past it.

"Whatever, I've got a telemarketer on the phone!" Annabeth yelled with joy as she jumped up and down.

"Yay!" Grover and I rejoiced as we all ran into Annabeth's living room and crowded around the phone.

"Hello Chase resident, I represent Americana and we would like to know-"

"How do you know my name?!" Annabeth asked him .

"Well I-"

"What's your name?!" Grover demanded.

"Bober."

"What kind of name is Bober" I asked him with a disgusted look on my face. I mean, seriously!

"I-I don't know!" the telemarketer dude screamed right before he burst into tears and sobs.

"You are free to go." Annabeth told the telemarketer guy, then like one second later all we heard was dial tone.

"Awesome! 45 seconds! That's a new record!" Grover told us, we all did a little happy dance.

"Who wants to harrass another telephone sales man?!" Annabeth asked us with a big smile on her face.

"Me!" Grover and I screamed in unison while jumping up and down with our hands in the air.

"Well too bad I'm out of minutes!" Way to burst our bubble Annabeth! "So let's go and take advantage of peoples hospitality and use their phones!"

"Yeah!" I yelled.

"Onward!"

**At a Random Diner**

"Hi!" I screamed at an innocent unsuspecting waitress.

"Hi...." she replied while slowly backing away from me, why did she do that? I'M A LIKEABLE PERSON!

"Can we use your phone?" Grover asked her as he stepped in front of me. Hey! He's a cutter!

"Sure it's in that corner." The waitress said as she pointed at the corner to the left, oh sure! You won't like me, but you'll like the guy who's half goat?!

We walked to the corner and picked up the phone.

"Does anyone the telemarketer's number?" Annabeth asked us, we said no.

"Okay I'll just call the operator."

"Why do you need to the doctor Annabeth? Are you sick?!" I asked Annabeth, what if she's sick?! I can't the get the chicken pox!

Annabeth just looks at me like she's really annoyed, being sick is not a joke! Then she called the doctor who apparently knew the telemarketer's number, hmm, who knew?!

"Hello, are you interested in purchasing a magazine subscription?"

"No! I want to buy an asparagus aquarium!" Annabeth screamed into the phone.

"An asparag-"

"Somebody's stealing my diary!" Grover shouted, it takes a really confident dude to say that out loud.

"Oh! Should I call 911?!"

"Yes I want fries with that WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD?!" I yelled at the telephone guy.

"It's like highschool all over again!"

"I want the letter Q for my birthday daddy!"

Then there was a big thud on the other end of the line.

"Is he still alive?" Grover asked.

"HEY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE OVER THERE?!" Annabeth screamed into the phone.

"Just don't talk to the bad people, they will go away! Don't talk to the bad people, they will go away!"

"Another success story!" Annabeth declared! That gets a well deserved YAY! Then the waitress came over.

"The owner said your disrupting the customers and would like to ask you to leave."

"Well we're not gonna!" Annabeth said with attitude to the waitress lady. You go Annabeth!

After we got forcefully kicked out....

"Put me down!" I screamed at the really buff dude, I guess I probably could have knocked him out with my skillz but I didn't feel like it. But then! he dropped me on the cold concrete ground! I am regretting my niceness!

"Ow! What is up with people!? No manners these days!" Annabeth complained.

"You got that right sistah!"

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**A/N: I hope you guys liked it! I want to know what you think so REVIEW! Thank you! :) If this story gets popular I might turn it into a series! :D**

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	2. This One Too, Better Luck Next Chap

**Chapter 2**

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**A/N: Hi guys! This is chapter dos! The first parts not as funny as I'd like it to be, but the stuff after is so read to about the middle and it gets good. :)**

Percy's Point of View

"You're not funny."

"Yes I am!" I said loudly at Annabeth as I crossed my arms. How dare she call me unfunny!

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am! Listen to this knock knock joke!", she will eat her words soon enough!

"Knock knock joke?" she asked me as she rolled her eyes.

"IT'S FUNNY."

"Fine!" she yelled exasperated as she threw her arms into the air.

"Knock knock!"

"Who, is at, the freaking, door?"

"Buy me!" I screamed smiling.

"Buy me who?!"

" Buy me cuz I'm a U.S tamborini money maker thingamajig, wait for it, I pay for myself!" I yelled right before I burst into laughter. I'm surprised I could keep a straight face that long! Hmm, why is Annabeth hitting her head on the table, she must not be able to handle the funnyness that is moi! Hey look there's Grover!

"Whatya guys doin?" Grover asked as he walked over to the table we were sitting at.

Grover's Point of View

"We were talking about the U.S tamborini!" Annabeth yelled her voice dripping with sarcasm. **(A/N: I always wanted to put that sentence into a story! The dripping with sarcasm part.)**

"He-"

"Yeah."

I started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Annabeth asked.

"I'm trying to get away from Percy before his stupidity rubs off on me." I explained to her, then I looked at Percy who was trying to look at his nose and was getting very frustrated that he couldn't.

"Grover, I promise you his stupidity won't rub off on you."

"Are you sure?" I questioned Annabeth as I narrowed my eyes to make me look all serious like.

"Grover, I am positive that Percy's stupidi- OH MY GOODNESS IT'S LEAKING OUT OF HIS EARS!"

"How are ya'll doing?!" Percy screamed while he had the stupidest smile ever plastered across his face!

"Noooo! Annabeth! Quick! We have to-"

"What's yer rush?" Annabeth asked me while she had her eyes crossed. No! The hilly billyness, country, stupid Percy! Its THE HAPPENING! I ran for the hills as fast as could!

"Grovar! Wait up fer us! Grovar! Grovar! Grover! Grover! GROVER!"

Nobody's Point of View

Annabeth was shaking Grover who was asleep on the couch.

"Aaaaahhhh!" Grover screamed as he woke up and sat up stick straight.

"Grover! What happened?!"

"Hill billy, country, STUPID PERCY!!"

"Huh?!" Annabeth asked.

"I think this would best be explained, through song!" Percy excliamed as he pulled out a little banjo.

"Little satyr Gro Gro **(A/N: said like grew)** I don't wanna see you, skipping through the forest and peeing on my bed. I'll give you three chan-"

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!!!!" Grover screamed at Percy.

"Do you want me to pee on your bed?!"

Percy's Point of View

"Whatever! We have telemarketers to call!" Annabeth yelled , then we all ran to the phone. Annabeth called the telemarketer, they're on our fave five now!

"This is U.S Way Telemarketing service how may we-

"Do you have a mustasche?!" Annabeth screamed into the phone.

"Yes! I didn't know facial hair was illegal! I'm sorry!"

"Give it back!" Annabeth demanded.

"I can't! It's superglued on my face!"

"MINE!" I yelled at the sassy backtalking telemarketer!

"Look I'm sorry!"

"My pants are attacking the Sears tower!!!" Grover shouted.

"No! I'm in the Sears tower! Is this what I get for running a scam?!"

"Absolutely you filthy despicable piece of cucumber!" Annabeth screamed.

"I'm sorry! How do I repent my sins?!"

"Eat an Orange!" I yelled before we slammed the phone down.

"Hmm, not our best work." Annabeth observed.

"I blame the telemarketer, he was waaaaaay to emotionally stable to be telemarketer!" I said feeling very angry! "I say we call him back!" We pushed redial. "H-hello? This is U.S Way T-"

"It's us again!" I yelled into the phone.

"Please! I'm sorry! I've already eaten 30 oranges! what more do you want from me?!"

"APOLOGIZE FOR BEING TOO EMOTIONALLY STABLE!!"

"I'm sorry!" The telemarketer yelled/whimpered before he burst into tears.

"GOOD!" I screamed before hanging up once again.

"Well, he's not emotionally stable anymore!" Annabeth yelled/sang.

"Our work here is done!" I shouted/rejoiced! Doing slashy stuff is fun!

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**A/N: Hiiii! :D I hope you awesome peoples liked that! Tell me if you caught the spin-off of that classic nursery rhyme! :) I thought about adding another little piece I made but I thought it would make the chapter too long so I'm just ending it there.**

**I actually like the way it ended. :) The first part was supposed to be funnier but I couldn't word it right so it didn't come out as good. Well the next chapter should be funnier.**

**I think I'll put the extra piece I didn't put to this one on the next chapter. Remember! Reviews make me happy. Happiness=Inspiration, Inspiration=Stories!**

**Thank You! **

**Peace out my home skillets!**

**-Magical Flying Pie **


	3. The Quest for the Evil Telemarketers 1

**The Quest for the Evil Telemarketers Part 1**

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A/N: The first chapter with an actual name! Hope you like it!

Grover and I were really bored so Grover was staring at a wall and I was carving little giraffes into Annabeth's dining table.

"You know Percy, real men admit they like the color pink, don't you think?" Grover asked me as I was putting little antennas onto my lastest masterpiece, George!

"Mmm, yeah I guess"

Then, all of a sudden, Grover jumped onto the table and screamed, "I LIKE THE COLOR PINK!", then he ripped his jacket in half and I saw that he had a 'Pretty Pink Pony Parade 2009 t- shirt!

"Dude! How people react is a completely different story!

That was when I realized in Grover's mad dash to reveal his love of pink, in the process he had smashed Polly the giraffe! Wait! Does that say Polly or Potty? Hmm, oh never mind! She will be avenged! In time.... Hey there's Annabeth!

"Hi guys!" She said while smiling and waving at us as she sat down at the table, hmm, there's something off in this picture. Oh! I know! She hasn't called us weird or stupid in the 10 seconds she's seen Grover's insanely pink shirt!

"Annabeth?" I asked as I waved a hand in front of her face.

"Yeah?"

"It's been 20 seconds and you havn't called us weird or stupid."

"You know, too much weird stuff has happened to us so I've decided to just go with the flow."

Grover and I looked at each other at the same time and the answer was unanimous, "AWESOME!"

30 Seconds Later

"PLEASSSSEEEEEE!!!!!!! ANNABETH! TELL US WE'RE WEIRD OR GIVE US A 'YOU GUYS ARE SO CREEPY' LOOK!" I screamed while begging at Annabeth's feet.

"I CAN'T STOP SEEING THE MARTIANS! I'VE LOST HEARING IN MY LEFT EAR!!!" Grover yelled while running arounds in circles, then he slammed himself into a wall.

"Guys! Chill out already!"

"Annabeth! Tell us we're morlons!" I shouted.

"It's morons!" Grover screamed at me with his face still smashed against the wall , don't have to be so rude, sheesh!

"Fine! You guys are- y-you guys are-" Annabeth's not finishing the sentence! Why isn't she finishing the sentence?!

"Annabeth what's wrong?!' Grover asked with a really worried look on his face.

"I havn't insulted you in too long! I've gotten a niceness patch in my heart for you guys!"

"Noooooooo! Whyyyyyyyy!!! Aaaaaahhhhhhh!" We screamed at the sky while shaking our heads.

"We *sob* had *sob* some *sob* really *sob* good *sob* times *sob*." Grover said while trying to keep from crying.

"I'll never forget the time Annabeth said I was stupid!"

"That was like 5 minutes ago!" Annabeth said through sobs.

"I know! It's the only time I havn't forgotten yet!" I managed to say before bursting into tears.

"Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!" We all screamed in unison.

"What'ya doin?" That's when we finally noticed that Nico walked in, which was really random.

"We're in mourning!" I answered.

"Why?"

"Beacause Annabeth's meanyness towards us has passed away!" Grover answered before bursting into tears again.

"You guys are really weird."

Grover and I both gasped at the same time, wow we are really in synch today! "He insulted us!"

"Let us be your followers!" I exclaimed as I jumped up to face him.

"Oh no you don't you idiot!" Annabeth yelled at me.

"Yay! Annabeth is mean to us again!" Grover rejoiced while clapping his hands and jumping up and down.

"Jealousy _is_ better than love and caring!"I said as we all jumped for joy and celebrated.

"Bye." Nico said before walked off and left.

Oh, hey! You guys wanna know hear a riddle?!" I asked everyone.

"Um, no not rea-"

"Okay, so, a duck named Leonardo has eyebrows that are blue cuz the cat was very unhappy with the fiddle one day, so...

6 hours later

"...and that's why the moon thought R2D2 was Jewish, now, what color were George's eyebrows?

"THAT WAS THE FIRST SENTENCE YOU TOLD US! WHAT WAS THE REST OF IT FOR?!

"Excuse me! I think you should be thanking me for giving you an education!" Then Grover attempted to tackle me.

"Grover he's not worth it!" Annabeth scremed while trying to hold Grover back by the collar while tried he tried to bite me.

Once Grover finally calmed down we were bored again.

"When's a monster when you actually want one?!"I complained.

5 Minutes Later

"I want pudding!" Grover said while we were all lying around in the living room on bean bags.

"Well too bad cuz you can't handle the pudding!" Annabeth screamed back at him as she flicked him in the forehead.

10 Minutes Later

"It's my gumdrop!"

"No! I'm suffering from sugar deprivation!

"When did you learn that big word?!"

"I only learned the word so people would think I had an actual problem!"

"Guess what! You didn't need the word!"

Another 5 minutes Later

"You know what?" I asked Annabeth and Grover who were staring at dust specks.

"What?"

"I think telemarketers are actually evil!" I yelled.

"You're right! It's so totally obvious that it's the new army of Kronos! What with their slashed down prices and convienence, they're totally using mind control to get new recruits telephonically!" Grover said in sudden realization.

"To the source of telemarketers, China! I'll book the cruise tickets." I said while getting up to get the laptop.

"Why can't we just fly?" Grover asked.

"Hello?! Zues, Hate, Me, Sky, Water, Pudding, penguin, Stir fried noodle?!" I answered Grover with a "DUH!" Look on my face, how could he forget?!

"Well you can't but everybody else can!" Annabeth yelled before she and Grover ran off.

"They ditched me!"

On The Cruise Ship.

"It's mine! It's all mine!" I screamed at the buffet table as I sprinkled bacon bits on top off bald peoples heads, then they got a reeeaaaally weird smile on their faces.

"Fine! Your loss! Now you won't be able to bask in the awesome glory that Perceus Jackson ya heeaard!" I screamed at the bald people as they dumped me on a deserted island! How rude! Uggghh! Now I have to go and find a volleyball and name it Wilson! This is so not part of the plan!

"Aaaaahhhhh!!" Two people screamed from the sky, I looked up and saw two people land on the water about a foot away from me.

"I'm not even gonna ask how we survived that."

"Annabeth! Grover! You guys came to rescue me!" I said as I ran up to give them a group hug!

"No we didn't, Grover was just stupid enough to open the door to an airplane 60,000 feet in the air." Annabeth said.

"Well that didn't hurt me on the inside." I said as I stopped mid hug.

"Oh no! Now we'll have to live on pancakes and tuna for the rest of our lives! And I'm a vegetartian!" Grover screamed while having panic attack and spazzing out.

"Percy aren't you ocean boy or something?!' Annabeth asked.

"What's you're point?"

"Get us out of here!" Annabeth screamed.

"Right! I can do that!" I yelled while I conjured up a huge tidal wave to take us to China!

At China!

"I'm hungry!" Grover complained.

"Fine, let's get something to eat before we go to the telemarketers. Let's meet back here in 15 minutes." Annabeth said before Grover and I ran off.

I started off really excited before I realized everything had msujuh and mommy says I can't have msujuh! Dissapointedly I walked back to the meeting place.

"Annabeth! Everyhting has msujuh and mommy says I can't eat msujuh!" I complained.

"What is msujuh?!"

"I don't know! I never got to eat it!" I said right before Grover came running up to us with some kabob or whatever.

"Have you guys tried msujuh?!" Grover asked before taking a bite of his kabob thing.

"Will somebody tell me what msujuh is?!" Annabeth screamed.

Then Grover gasped at a sign on a cart that had a sign written in english.

"That tofu over there has 50% more msujuh than average!" He yelled before running to get in line.

"Are you guys talikng about MSG?!" Annabeth screamed at me.

"Annabeth I know how to spell msujuh!" I told her, what does she think I'm four?!

"I don't care what mommy says! I am eating msujuh!" I screamed as I started walking over to the line Grover was in but Annabeth stopped me.

"No, you don't have enough brain cells as it is!" Annabeth then proceeded to drag Grover kicking and screaming away from the line for the tofu.

"Can we please get back to the reason we came here in the first place?!" Annabeth asked us while looking very angry at us, we aren't annoying are we? Hmm.

"Right! To the heaquarters of telemarketers!"

**To Be Continued**

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A/N: Hi! So there's part one of 'The Quest for the Evil Telemarketers' part two will be up later, I actually have most of the dialogue done just have to type it into like 'story' form. So remember! Reviews=Happiness, Happiness=Inspiration, Inspiration=Story! I just did the math for you! You're welcome! So more reviews, part two come up faster! Thank you! :D

**Peace out my home skillet biscuits!**

-Magical Flying Pie :)


	4. The Quest for the Evil Telemarketers 2

******The Quest for the Evil Telemarketers Part 1**

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**A/N: And I have arrived! Yeah sorry I kinda just dropped off the face of fanfiction for a while. Didn't feel like working and this was basically just typing for this chapter cuz I already did all the fun stuff which is coming up jokes weird stuff Percy does so the fun stuff was kinda sucked out! But yeah! I feel kinda guilty... now read! **

They have arrived at HQ Evil Telemarkatonos!

Percy's Point of view!

"Who are you?!" Annabeth screamed at this really buff guy who was stapling the leaves of a plant while on the phone with a valued 'customer'.

"I am Emmett Cullen!"

"AND ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU ARE WORKING FOR THE EVIL ASSOCIATION OF TELEMARKETERS?!!!" I questioned him using my AUTHORITIVE voice! He looked to the side then answered quietly,

"Um, no."

"We were right! They ARE using mind control!" Eureka! Then that Emmett guy backed away slowly....

"Um, I'm just gonna leave now."

"Yeah! You do that!"

Then, after that little episode, we walked over to this guy holding a clipboard because if you have a clipboard you're obviously in charge!

"Hey you!" Annabeth shouted at the guy holding the clipboard who I now notice looks like that guy from the shamwow commercials.

The guy turned around, "Yes?"

"Are you running the Headquarters of The Evil Association of Telemarketers AKA The New Army of Kronos?!"

"No silly," The overly peppy guy said with a smile on his face as he tweaked Annabeth on the nose, "that's in New Zealand!"

"Oh."

"To New Zealand!" Then Annabeth took the guys clipboard and smashed it on top his head so hard that it broke in half and he fainted!

"That is for pinching my nose!" She screamed at the unconcious guy laying on the ground, poor guy, we didn't even know his name! Don't get Annabeth angry, bad things happen....

So then we needed a car to take the road trip to New Zealand so we jacked a really big Jeep, hotwired it, I didn't know Annabeth could hotwire a car...hmm I bet there's a lot of secrets she has from those 6 years before she came to Camp Half Blood.... **(A/N: That's going to be a future chapter....) **Then we all hopped in and away we went!

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In The Land of Zeal That's Still Got That Plasticy Smell Cuz It's Brand Spankin New! (They're also at a theme park cuz they like to procrastinate!)

So there we were procrastinating the day away while eating cotten candy when who should finally show up!

"Kronos! What are you doing here?! We thought you were running The Association of Evil Telemarketersl" I exclaimed in utter shock!

He looked really annoyed all of a sudden then screamed, "AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!," well not exactly the response I was expecting. "My name is not Kronos! You're Paul Mcartney and I'm Harry Potter!"

"...Kay...."

"ANSWER ME!!!!"

We just kinda stared at him for a while. Then before we knew it apparantly 12 hours had passed and an employee came and yelled at us to get off the property. Then we ran for our lives cuz Kronos was still there too.

"How are we gonna get out if here?! We totalled the Jeep thing!" Yeah funny story about that jeep,

_Back to the Future! (_AKA Flashback)

_"I need to go the bathroom!" I complained to Annabeth who was currently driving._

_"Well too bad! You just had bathroom break!"_

_"But that was three days ago!"_

_"Exactly my point!" Annabeth screamed back at me, ahhhhhhh! I'm going to explode!_

_"Fine! I'm jumping out of the car!"_

_"Whatever!" Then I jumped out of the car even though we were in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Oh well, then I swam to the Pacific Ocean IHOP and used their bathroom. Then after I came out I saw Grover and Annabeth eating pancakes in the car! _

_"What are you doing?!" I screamed at Annabeth, how could could she?!_

_"Be quiet I'm trying to eat!"_

_"Annabeth! You know how I feel about pancakes! How could you not get any for me?!"_

_"Hey! Our frienedship went out the window when you betrayed our trust!"_

_"What did I do?!"_

_"You had to pee!" then the jeep exploded and a little parachute with a note floated down from the sky: This is why you should brush your teeth more often and stop eating my acorns! You're getting fat! Love, Dan. :)_

_End of Flashback _

_("How are we gonna get out of here?! We totalled the Jeep thing!")_

"We'll fly!" I exclaimed as I grabbed Annabeth and Grover and took to the sky!

"I'm just not even gonna ask." Grover said as he shook his head slowly.

After a couple hours of flying we stopped in Forks, Washington.

"Why are stopping here?"

"Cuz Forks has the best churros on a fork! Duh!" I answered, I can't believe she's never heard of their famous churros! Then this guy with a face and hair came over.

"You! Weren't you the peoples who jacked my car!"I knew he looked familiar! He also looks angry. Then another guy came over.

"Chea-yah!" he screamed at Emmett.

I gasped, "You used your jedi mind tricky powers on me!"

"I am Edward Cullen! Master Jedi Master!" then he ran off.

"Where's my car?!" Emmett questioned us.

"We made it explode on the ocean!" then he started yelling at us in Swahili. "WELL?!"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh,we're potato chips!" I screamed panicking then I remembered we needed to escape, "Quick! While he's confuzzled! Evasive maneuver 19B-CODE2300made official at 200 hours on

Febr-"

"Would you just fly us out of here already?!" Grover yelled at me, alright alright, crabby crabby.

Then I flew us all home and we all lived happily ever after for 30 seconds before we started fighting over whether we were barbeque or sour cream flavored potato chips.

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Epilogue (like 20 minutes after they stopped fighting over potato chips)

Year 2678

"Ah George! Finally we have made it my friend! Behold, a typical middle class house in surburbia!" the future scientist exclaimed to his friend sharing in their new discovery.

"Aye! And look at this! Is this a perfectly preserved dining table?!"

"Yes! And look! A giraffe! Wait, is it's name Potty or Polly?" the scientist wondered out loud.

"Look Arthur! This one is named George! I'm named after a giraffe! Is this not magnificent?!" the scientist exclaimed in joy, then a magical purple portal opened and Percy's head popped out.

"Which one of you is a descendent of Grover Underwood?!" he screamed at the two innocent scientists.

"Me!" George screamed, and it was actually true, he really was 1/267th satyr, that's probably why he liked to eat cans while the other little chidren ate mushy peas. Then Percy hit him on the head with an audible BONK!

"That's for Polly!"

"So it is Polly!" Arthur exclaimed.

"I'm not sure, I hope so. I don't think I would name a giraffe Potty, what if I was feeling all cruel and stuff that day! Oh no! Poor Polly/Potty! FORGIVE MEEEEE!!!!" Percy screamed while shaking his head and arms at the sky.

"It's alright little ancient boy she forgives you." George told Percy.

"Thank you, sorry I hit you on the head." Percy apologized.

"It's a'ight."

"Sayonara!"

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**A/N: I know the flying doesn't make sense what with the penguins and the stir fried noodles but, it was funny! Also, have you noticed this entire trip they havn't actually called any telemarketers? So anyways, REVIEW! I read all of them and they each have a special place in my heart so thanks! :D**

******Peace out my home skillet biscuits with gravy!**

**-Magical Flying Pie :) **

**P.S Remember when I said I had an extra piece that I decided not to add on chapter 2? The entire two part saga of 'The Quest for the Evil Telemarketers' was that extra piece. :) **

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	5. You Wanna Be An Eco Friendly Pretzel!

**Yoga!**

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**A Random Person Who Just Happens To be Stalking the PJO Gang, Let's call him 'No One's Point of View'**

Percy Walks into the living room and has a very dissaproving look on his face as he crinkles his nose and surveys the chaos. Junk food is strewn across the white carpeting and spilled beverges create rainbows made of sticky of puddles. The two culprits are looking like they could care less as Grover is sitting on the couch upside down while drooling and Annabeth looks like she's off on some distant planet as she stares blankly at the Television.

"Okay that's it we need to start exercising! I mean look at this!" Percy shouts as he carefully crosses the minefield of old junkfood.

"What's wrong with it?" Grover asks barely looking up from the T.V. with a foggy expression on his face.

"We're eating pizza out of tuna fish cans!"

"Well I'm not gonna walk all the way to the kitchen!" Grover exclaims as though the thought were absurd.

"We need to take up yoga!" Percy decides, this is just enough to make Annabeth, as she grabs her soda off the table, look up and comment, "No thanks, I'd rather not be a pretzel."

"If I become a pretzel, can I be an eco-friendly pretzel like carl the corndog?!" Grover asks excitedly.

"Grover! We discussed this! Carl the corndog is no more of an urban myth than Splenda is sugar free!" Percy screams at Grover.

"What?" Annabeth asks as she turns around to look at the two idiots.

"I am signing us up!"

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"No! Taxi man! DON"T LEAVE US!!" Grover screams at the now very scared taxi man as he rushes to close the windows and speeds off.

"Oh suck it up and be a man!" Percy says as he walks over to Grover. Then Grover loses it and shakes Percy's shoulders as yells, "I'm only half a man in the first place anyway! I don't have standards for myself!"

"What is this place?"

"It's the Alex Clouseua children's recreational center, where 93% percent of the kids count!" Percy exclaims excitedly as he gestures toward the building in the way those people on game shows do.

"I'll walk the 50 miles home." Grover says.

"Come on! It'll be fun!" Percy says, rather over perkily might I add, as he tries to persuade Grover and Annabeth to come in. They just glare at him.

"Well I don't really care. Now come on!"

* * *

"Call me Professor Tiny Foot!" the guy who was supposedly the yoga instructor screamed at Annabeth, Percy and Grover as they entered the room.

"Proffesor? Aren't you supposed to be our sensei or something?" Percy asks.

"No that's karate! He's obviously our spirit guide!" Grover answers with a 'no dur!' expression on his face, Annabeth just looking really annoyed at the pair screams, "If we please could move?!"

"Right!", the guy agrees as he's rubbing his hands together, "Now the first step to yoga is to eat some KFC!"

"What?! What do you mean?!" Percy asks in shock.

"I don't know I'm not a yogurt instructor!" The guy yells before he storms out and leaves.

"Wow, great lesson now let's go home!" Grover exclaims hopping up from a chair he was sitting in.

"No! We need to stop being couch potatoes!" Percy yells feeling very aggravated by Grover.

"Stop discrimintaing the potato!" Grover screams back, protecting the potato's honor.

"Let's just find something else to do!!" Annabeth screams exasperated at the both of them as she throws her arms into the air.

"Fine, as long as it is an educational activity that utilizes both the mind and body in an effort to create a more healthy lifestyle." Percy says, Annabeth stares at him with a really shocked look on her face as she tilts her head to the side.

"Dude what is up with you! Have you been watching educational videos or what?!" Grover questions him while shaking him back and forth. Then, comepletely out of the blue, another Percy flies through the window!

**Percy's Point of View! :D** **(Finally! I really hated having no one's point of view to write in.**

**Pie (Me): Good to have you back dude! **

**Percy: Good to be back Pie! **

**No One's Point of View: I feel neglected! Does no one love me?!**

**Pie: Aww, I feel sorry for you. Here's a lollipop.**

**No One's Point of View: That's it? This is my compensation for the absence of love and caring?!**

**Pie: Yeah!**

**By the way, the Percy whose point of view this is in is the one that just flew in from the window.)**

"Oh my goodness you guys! I nearly escaped the man eating chocolate bars of DOOM!"

"Okay WHAT?! Why are there two Percy's?!" Annabeth screamed

"YOU!!!!" I growled at the disgusting creature before me, I hate every fiber of it's being!!!! EXCEPT! He is gooooood lookin!

"What?" the little slug asked.

"What do you mean what?! You tied me to a flag pole in a volcano!" I screamed, I can't believe he actually has the nerve to ask!

"Wait thay have a flagpole in a volcano?" Grover asks.

"It is kinda a stupid place to put a flagpole." Annabeth agrees.

"Alright that is so not the point!" I am so angry right now at everybody in this room I'm surprised nothings caught on fire yet from the sparks I'm sure are coming out of my ears, Tom and Jerry wouldn't lie to me!

"Okay wait so you have a twin brother?" Grover asks looking so shocked his eyeballs looking like they're popping out of their sockets.

"No, daddy thought I needed a broader circle of friends so he cloned me." I explained.

"...."

"And he called him Percy too?" Annabeth asked.

"Yeah, daddy doesn't have much of an imagination."

"Yeah like horses were a total rip off of zebras and donkeys." Grover observes.

"Well anyway, come on Percy clone, let's go get some ice cream." Annabeth says, comepletley brushing off the events that happened two minutes ago!

"Do you guys not care about the fact that I was trapped in a volcanoe at all?!" I ask shocked.

"We care...just not that much." Annabeth explained.

"I can see why daddy thought I needed a broader circle of friends."

* * *

**A/N: So there you have it! Not my usual kinda chapter but, it's different kind of cool. Tell me if you like the detailed descriptions that 'No One's Point of View' does cuz if you like it I can have Percy do it too, just makes the story move a little slower to me but it's fun to tell you guys what I think someplace looks like. Sorry about the Author's Note in the middle, I'll try not to make a habit of it cuz I don't really like them in particular. REVIEW! :D**

**Peace out my home skillet biscuits with gravy and bacon!**

**-Magical Flying Pie :D**

**P.S Have you read Catching Fire, the sequel to the Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins? I think it was pretty good but I think I liked the Hunger Games better, guess we'll just have to wait for the next one. :)**


	6. Grover Emotionally Scars Small Children

**Author's Note: Sorry I havn't updated in awhile, I've been busy. Well, this just kinda came to me all of a sudden, my intended next chapter is still in the works, but I'll tell you the name, "The Telemarketers Get Caller I.D.". Intrigued? No? Well alright then. This is mostly dialogue because it's only between two people but its funny. Enjoy!**

**Grover's Point of View:**

Well whoop dee do dah day! Guess what?! I'm going solo today! And do you want to know why? Well I'll tell you, it's because I have been forgotten and abandoned! That's right! Ever since Percy and Annabeth started "dating" I have been completely left behind! Well you know what? WHO NEEDS THEM! I am fine on my own! I'm gonna call a telemarketer, yeah, yeah I'm gonna call a telemarketer all by myself!

"Hello?" said the squeaky little voice on the other side of the phone.

"Well then! I have some bussiness inquiries to question you about!"

"Um, I'm not really supposed to answer this phone, daddy's gonna be mad."

"*Gasp!* You're a small child?" Dang those child labor laws!

"Yeah?"

"Well don't worry little boy I'll save you!"

"I was really just kinda bored."

"Oh, well then maybe a story."

"That'd be great! Like "The Three Little Pigs"?"

"Pssh! That story is for babies! I'll give you a grown up story!" Poor confused little child.

"Yeah! I'm gonna be a grownup!"

"That's right! Now, this story is called "The Decapitations of Ye Old Satyr Country And Why They Happened"."

"What does decapitation mean?"

"It means like to behead."

"What does behead mean?"

"Dude! Just get a dictionary!"

"What's a dictionary?"

"Never mind!"

"But I still don't know what decapitation mea-"

"YOU'LL FIND OUT!!"

"Okay."

"Alright, now our story starts when brave young Dofstrudelsven stole Nick Jonas's hat."

1 Hour Later.

"And that's why there's only 50 states. Did you like the story?"

No Response

"Hello? I said did you like the story?"

"What happened after they threw it in the fire?"

"Well, no one really knows."

"AAAAAHHHHHH!!! That was scary!"

"Well you know what little boy?! That is the real world and if you can't handle it, then you're not fit for the reality of LIFE!"

"AAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

"That's right! Cry you little baby! Cry away!"

"Danny?!" That's a new voice.

"What's wrong Danny?!"

"The *sob* man on the phone *sob* said I'm not fit for the reality of life!"

"What is wrong with you?!"

"Hey, I was just trying to prepare the kid for reality!"

"You sick, evil person! Never call this number again!"

"Gladly!" Then I hung up DRAMATICALLY! That's right! Yeah. ...well, sitting alone at a table is kinda boring.

"Grover!" That's Percy!

"Percy! I'm over here in the kitchen!" He's come back for me!

"Dude!"

"I knew you wouldn't forget all about me after you started dating Annabeth!"

"What are you talking about?! I'm not dating Annabeth!"

"Then why were you guys gone all day?!"

"Because we were supposed to be due in Japanese court after YOU tried to steal the a Japanese cereal company!"

"Ohhh, that was today?"

"Yes!"

"Oops."

* * *

**Author's Note: Did you like it? Let me just tell you that Japanese Cereal Company will be coming back in another story! It was fun to write in Grover's point of view for once. Please... Review Review Review Review Review! :D**

**Peace Out! **

**-Magical Flying Pie!**


	7. IMPORTANT Author's Note And Cheese

**A/N: _READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ Has it been three months already? Time just FLIES by sometimes huh? Anyways, SORRY! Got busy...and that's basically the only excuse I have. BUT! I now give you my wonderful readers, an option. I have 2, count em, 2 chapters I will allow you to choose from. They're both still in "manuscript" form with just a whole bunch dialogue and actions written, cuz that's how I write. But, you can now choose from "Annabeth's Dark Past" which is basically just bragging about Annabeth in a totally non-Annabethy way and non-telemarkety way or "Percy's Girl Scout Patches", just a random thing I came up with a half an hour ago, it's really short but it's pretty good. Neither of them are "Super Awesome" chapters, cuz I've had 3 MONTH LONG WRITERS BLOCK, but I'll try to get in my "funny" brain again. It's actually been working in overtime with my friends, (If you don't have a spine or have a such a bad conscience that you can't taunt people, they will kill you in about 5 minutes), some friends huh? (No, I love my friends, we just...have a weird relationship) Anyway! Before this turns into a blog, just send a review telling me whatever chapter you want, I'll try to start up again on The Telemarketers Get Caller I.D. and Costume Party at Camp Half Blood, forgot everthing I had planned and found out all but 2 files on my fanfiction account were deleted (whoo hoo!), but this will give the "artistic" side of my brain a work out. Left you a teeny tiny little story for you below because I will not tell you how annoying I find it when all that's there on a story I was expecting a new chapter on is this author's note I end up not even reading, (plus using a whole chapter as an author's note is illegal!). Anyways, enjoy!**

Percy's Point of View (Because really, when do I ever NOT write in his point of view?)

So there I sat, chewing violently at my sandwich, trying not to breath. Why, may you ask, am I holding my breath while eating? It's because of CHEESE!

"Hey Percy," Annabeth said as she sat down in front of me, not eating anything. I bet she's anorexic!

"Anorexic much?" I asked.

"What? Oh, I'm not hungry"

"That's exactly what you want me to think isn't it?!"

"Percy, what are you talking abou-" she was gonna finish, but I interuppted her!

"Don't you see how what you're doing to yourself is affecting our relationship?!" That's when I just let all of my emotions out! Jsut let 'em out! I think I even cried!

"Anyways!" she screamed at me, huh, typical anorexicy behavior.

"What'ya eatin?" she questioned me. I put my serious face on,(and my thinkin cap!) and told her in a hushed whisper, "EVIL!" She just stared at me without changing her expression and asked,"Kay, and what is exactly makes up evil?"

"Whole wheat bread grilled cheese!" I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT! WHEN DID MY TONGUE BECOME SO FILTHY?!

"Alright then" and then she got up to walk off!

"Where are you going?!", she turned around surprised and said, "I can see you need time alone with your "sandwich" thing!"

"Don't just leave me here!"

"Okay!", she pulled her chair back out and sat down.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Place Awkward Moment of Choice Here-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Soo, what do you hate so much about your sanwich?" Annabeth asked twiddling her thumbs, why do people twiddle their thumbs anyway?! It just looks like your losing a thumb wrestle with yourself.

"Is it not obvious?!" I thought Annabeth was supposed to be smart!

"Well, n-"

"It's CHEESE, HEALTHY FOOD AND CHEESE!"

"You don't like cheese?"

"OR HEALTHY FOOD!"

"Well, I guess I can see the cheese part of it, I mean I really only like parmesan myself-"

"HELLO?! THIS IS MY PROBLEM! SO BE QUIET AND LISTEN!"

Then I continued to eat my evil sandwich and hold my breath.

"So, what else did you have to say?"

"Be quiet! I am trying to hold my breath and eat!"

"You mean you havn't taken a breath since you started eating that sandwich?!" WHY ARE YOU SO SURPRISED?!

"Nope!"

"But you've been talking to me this whole time!"

"What's your point?!"

"Okay, why are you holding your breath?", *sigh* Annabeth could be so slow sometimes, so I explained it to her slowly.

"So. I. Don't. Have. To. Taste. The. Cheese!"

"Well, why don't you just take the cheese out?"

*Gasp!* "Well why don't you stick your hands into a furnace?!"

Annabeth looked beyond the point of confusion so I elaborated.

"That would mean touching the cheese with my hands!"

"But you're eating it!" I can't believe Annabeth today! SHE DOESN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE BASIS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP!!

"THAT'S DIFFERENT! I WILL NOT EXPLAIN TO YOU THE COMPLICATED WORKINGS OF MY MIND!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT?!" Then she grabbed my sandwich and took out the cheese!

"THERE!" ,then Annabeth slammed the remaining sandwich carcass on my plate, anger management issues much? You know, I should really take Annabeth to that psychiatrist again, then again maybe not cuz I don't think that psychiatrist was right in the mind herself. When I took Annabeth, she thought _I _was the one who needed psychiatric help! ME!

We just sat there for a while after that, then I got bored so I ate the rest of the bread. Annabeth just glared at me the whole time and when I was done she stomped off. Then she came back with this big bucket. It smelled suspiciously of evil...

* * *

Did you guys like it? Tell me if you liked it! I crave your opinion and I won't know if it you don't tell me! So review please! And if you didn't read the above note, GO BACK AND READ IT BECAUSE IT IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE!!! Also, does anybody here know what unrequited means? I do, but apprantly two of my best friends don't, I'm trying to prove to them that everybody knows this word! Anyways, have a nice day!


	8. Percy and His Girl Scout Patches

**A/N: Kay, now this chapter is scary short, but, it got the most votes (2 whole votes! ...yeah!) thanks to my reviewers, you're awesome by the way, so here it is! Hope you like it. :)**

* * *

**No One's Point of View:**

No One's Point of View: *GASP!* you do love me!

Me: No, just couldn't really figure out what in the world Percy was thinking in this chapter.

No One's Point of View: You couldn't just play along?

Me: *Sigh* Nope, here's another lollipop for your lack of love from me.

No One's Point of View: *Sighs as walking off sadly*

* * *

**Percy and His Stupid Girl Scout Patches**

"Assisting a unicorn patch, check!"

"Percy What are you doing?" Annabeth asked walking toward a Percy decked out in a beige Girl Scout Uniform with matching beret (Or whatever they wear, never got to be a girl scout...SCHEDULING CONFLICTS!! *sniffle*).

Percy looked up at Annebth from his ironing board and and replied, "Ironing on my "Assisting Unicorn" Patch from Girl Scouts."

"... Percy," Annabeth said with great patience,"First, you're 16, and second, you're a BOY!"

"Yeah," Percy said nodding, "I went down to troop 65473, and they called the cops. But then Grover told me about this other troop called "The Butter Cups"."

"Uh huh..."

"And now Grover just tells me what patches I can get whenever I finish the patch I'm working on. " Percy smiled at Annabeth and went back to work ironing.

"Right, I'm gonna go talk to Grover."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------after Annabeth walks to the other side of the house---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Grover!" Annabeth shouted.

Grover turned around on the couch and asked, "Yeah?"

"Why are you taking advantage of Percy?" Annabeth asked with sigh.

"Who's taking advantage of Percy? I'm just sending him away as far as I can for a "patch". But the problem is he always seems to come back."

"Oh,well as long as you're not taking advantage of Percy, PERCY!" (The CAPITALIZED LETTERS are either Annabeth or Grover screaming at Percy or vice versa)

"YEAH?" Percy asked from his "ironing room"

"GROVER JUST TOLD ME THE NEXT PATCH YOU CAN EARN IS CALLED THE "GET ANNABETH A SMOOTHIE FROM THE KITCHEN" PATCH!"

After an excited gasp, Percy replied,"ON IT!!"

Grover glared at Annbeth, "You're such a hypocrite. Why do you do that to him?"

"Cuz it's just too easy." Annabeth said with a smile plopping down on the couch next to Grover.

"Yeah," Grover agreed, "HEY PERCY, WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, YOU CAN EARN A "GET GROVER A SMOOTHIE FROM THE KITCHEN" PATCH."

"NOW YOU'RE JUST MAKING THEM UP! I'M NOT STUPID YOU KNOW!"

"It's just not fair" Grover said with a sigh

Annabeth patted Grover's shoulder, "Don't worry I got it."

Then Percy came bouncing into the room, "Here's your smoothie Annabeth!"

"Thanks! Hey, you wanna earn another "Get Annabeth a Smoothie from the Kitchen" Patch?" Annabeth asked Percy.

Percy looked confused, "But I just got one."

"Yeah, but, these patches work like karate belts. When you earn a patch twice-"

"I go up a degree!" Percy said with excited realization, "Oh my goodness! This will totally put me on the NEXT LEVEL!"

"Yea-"

"Gotta go!" Percy screamed running off, leaving a big _whoosh_ behing him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Another _whoosh_ later---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Here's your second smoothie Annabeth! Now I gotta go re-earn all my patches!" And with that, Percy was off.

"How long do you think he'll be gone?" Annabeth asked Grover.

"Oh I'd say a while," Grover replied while stirring his smoothie, "The first patch I told him to get was the "Fighting Panthers In The Sahara Desert To Get Their Fur To Make Jello" Patch."

"..."

Then Annbeth shrugged her shoulder, "Cool."


End file.
